Zack's Journey - Gymnastics

A word of caution, the Zack's Journey articles will likely be out of chronological order. I've documented these experiences on other blogs but they came in a random order as I remembered to write them down.

I belive the post below occurred when Zack was 5, in 2008.

Gymnastics

Well, we’re off on another Zack sports event: Gymnastics!

Zack's Journey - Shadow Dance

Having a child with attention issues is often considered a burden. The problem with AD(H)D is that so many are stigmas associated with it. When you have a child that goes a little odd when stimulated, people give you 'the look'.

True, there are problems with ADD and ADHD but there is also magic. These kids tend to be incredibly creative and enjoy living 'in the moment' the way others cannot. On a late summer night in ’05, a two year old Zack discovered the fun of shadows the way I've never witnessed before. This is a blessed memory that I will always cherish.

It began with Deb and I sitting in our white wicker chairs by the driveway. We have one of those security lights comes on  when it senses motion. It's a powerful light which completely illuminates the driveway and is an excellent shadow maker. Not the multiple shadows you normally get from artificial lighting but one, strong black shadow usually reserved for dark rooms and flash lights.

As Zack pushed his toy police car around the drive, I made the age-old rabbit shadow with my hand. This fascinated Zack. He tried to grab it but the wascally wabbit was too quick. He laughed and giggled until he discovered he had a shadow as well. At this point the the magic began.

I felt like I was watching something out of Peter Pan as my son tried to catch the his own dark image which was always just a little too fast for him. After chasing the shadow down the driveway, he found that the shadow would also chase him as well. Zack ran away from the dark boy on the ground watching the shadow as he ran. He was so intent was he on the dark image that he ran head long into Jessica’s car,  falling to the ground the ground in a heap of giggles.

Deb and I showed Zack how to control the shadow with his own movements. He waved his arms and laughed. Then he raised his foot into the air watching the shadow detach from his foot. He tried to touch the shadow but it was always just out of reach. Finally he learned to squat down. The shadow squatted as well and at last he could touch the illusive being.

Zack had so much fun it was hard to get him in for the night. Finally coaxed him into my arms to look at the stars. I sang him a song as we walked back toward the house. The rhythm was to a Louis Armstrong song “What a wonderful world” but the words were my own which talked about stars in the sky, reflected in baby blue eyes. 

Zack didn't fuss at all as we walked into the house. Once inside, Deb had to call her mom to describe the evening. Zack and I played ‘Tent on the couch’ where his folding tent goes on one section of the couch and he climbs in and out. We sang twinkle, twinkle little star for a while until Deb got off the phone with her mom.

Its nights like this when everything seems right with the world. I wish there were more of them.

Zack's Journey - My Kid Has ADHD?

ADHD kids are not like others. The AD part of the acronym means they don’t concentrate well while H causes them to act without regard for the consequences of their actions. Put together you have a child that can’t stay on task and often moves, makes noises, or exhibits other potentially annoying behavior. They get in trouble often and almost as often can’t remember what they did that caused the problem. Thus we have the final D in the acronym; Disorder.

ADD/ADHD Links

Zack has Attention Deficit Disorder.  They're not sure yet whether its ADD or ADHD but its a chanllenge something he'll have for the rest of his life.  Here are a few resource links if anyone is interested.

http://christianadhd.com/parenttools.php

http://www.greatschools.net/LD.topic?content=1541

http://w3.addresources.org/bookstore

http://directory.additudemag.com/

http://www.newideas.net/

New Links
http://www.additudemag.com/

01/10/2010
http://www.magictherapy.com/resources.html

Here's an excellant page discribing the types of adhd
http://newideas.net/adhd/different-types-adhd
which describes the condition in terms of Winnie the Pooh characters

• "Inattentive": Just like Winnie the Pooh
• "Classic Hyperactive": Tiggers like to bounce...
• "Over-Focused": Rabbit tends his garden
• "With Anxiety": Piglet is nervous and worries...
• "With Depression": Eeyore says, "Thanks for noticing me..."

 

Inks Lake, Summer of 09

If you've read some of my previous posts you know we purchased a camping trailer. The trailer was a compromise. Debbie wished to recreate her childhood experiences she enjoyed and I wanted to please her and yet maintain an air conditioned environment.

I work for the State of Texas and so we get an insane number of holidays. There is, on average, one per month. This particular holiday trip fell on Juneteenth, celebrating the day the slaves of Texas learned of their emancipation after the civil war. While I'm not aware of any ancestors who were slaves of African decent I am more than happy to celebrate the holiday by hauling a twenty-nine foot trailer for an hour to a state park.

Its hot in Texas. Not as hot as other areas in the US but still pretty darn hot. The temperature during the day is in the high nineties which felt around 120 outside the shade. Did I mention that part of my criteria for camping involved air conditioning?

I thought it would be difficult to out-do our last outing to Inks. We went in the winter but winters in our part of Texas are not that cold. We had a fire and went for long walks on the trails. It was a great trip.

In between that trip and this one we traveled to Mustang Island State Park out near Port Aransas. The facilities at that park weren't nearly so nice as Inks although the beaches are nice. If you like sand and surf its the park for you. If you like lake activities and hiking, Inks is more your sort of place.

Not that the beach isn't fun. We saw a baby black tipped reef shark, a huge blue crab, a purple jelly fish, tons of nighttime sand crabs and a baby leopard shark that I accidentally kicked and yet still have all my toes. Fun, but not Inks lake level of fun.

Now, for the record, this trip to Inks did not start well. My youngest teenage step daughter decided to have a female moment the night before we left that upset Debbie. So we were late getting off the next morning as we played catchup from the previous night's fun.

My advice to any of you with thirteen year old daughters: your lovely daughter is about to disappear to be replaced with a fire breathing, irrational dragon. Not to worry, someday she'll be back but for now you should consult a physician for mood stabilizers. Not for her, for you. But I digress.

We arrived at Inks State Park around 9:30, an hour and a half later than planned. Unlike winter, the wait time to get a camping spot in summer is considerable. We waited for about forty-five minutes an assignment. I was minding Zack, our son, and Milo, our dog, when our name was called so Debbie went inside to get campsite number. We were given 151.

We loaded up and drove to the assigned area. It was at the very back of the park next to the small highway. While the area was heavily forested with lots of trails it was extremely crowded. There were tents and cars everywhere. Later we learned this was the closest spot to a popular swimming area but we didn't know that at the time. To make matters worse there was someone in our assigned campsite.

We weren't sure what to do about squatters so we drug the trailer back to the park entrance to inform the rangers. Note I still have twenty-nine feet of air conditioned comfort behind the truck waiting to be plugged in. We drive up to the station and Deb hops out. I drive past not sure I can make the turn around at the station with the trailer attached. I drove down to the campsites on the other side of the park then back. Debbie is waiting on me with a pissed off look.

“They have until 2 pm. to leave,” she said.

“Did you ask about the other campsites we like? 76 was empty when we drove by. That one's a dream.” ask I.

“She said they were all taken,” said Deb.

“Hmm, how about I give the Athey charm a try?” said I with my best grin.

Debbie just grimaced. “Fine but they're all taken.”

Now, as a side note the Athey's are known for their ability to BS. There's nothing but preachers and missionaries on one side of the family and nothing but business men and ranchers on the other. All in all its a lethal combination when properly used.

I walked into the ranger station and there is a short Hispanic lady reloading the brochure holders. She did not look happy. The rest of the rangers were in back laughing. Apparently she was the new person that got stuck with the jobs others did not want.

“I'll be with you in a moment,” she stated curtly.

“I'm in not hurry,” I said. It was true, we had until 2 for the squatters to vacate. “I see you survived the morning rush.”

“Barely,” she said.

“We were here in the winter. They told us it got crowded during the summer but I wasn't expecting this large a crowd,” I said conversationally.

She snorted a bit. “Yes, very busy.” She finished loading the brochure racks and walked back behind the counter. “How may I help you?” A burst of laughter came from the back. She looked in that direction and frowned.

Now the next few seconds were going to be very delicate. What we were dealing with was a pissed off civil servant who was having a bad day. She had very little power in life but what she had she wielded like a hammer. I was the supplicant seeking a favor from the ruler of the campsite assignments and knew it would be best if I acted that way. A little understanding, it turns out, goes a long way.

I put on my most likable grin. “We're in slot 151 and...”

She cut me off. “They have until 2 to leave.”

“And that's fine. But I was wondering if there were some empty slots somewhere to pull our trailer into. I'm really not a very good driver and I would hate to have to haul that thing all the way into town to wait until two. Do you have anything that's not full?”

“Nothing on the lake,” she said. Her tone wasn't quite as curt.

I continued. “I'm not picky, really. It doesn't have to be on the lake. Whatever you've got would be fine.”

She sighed, the tightness drained a bit from her face. “I've got slot 121 and 76. 76 is a drive through if you have problems backing.”

“76 would be fine,” I said trying to keep my grin from shit eating stage. The deal wasn't sealed yet.

The ranger did some stuff at the computer then gave me the slot assignment.

“Thanks,” I said. “Try to have a good time until the next rush.”

She actually smiled back and waved.

I hit the door and THE grin spread across my face like peanut butter on Mrs. Beards. This is the grin my wife hates. Its the one I get when I'm inordinately pleased with myself.

I climbed in the truck and showed Debbie the assignment. “How? What did you do?”

“I just smiled and asked nicely.”

She hit me. “I was not rude to that woman! I was nice!”

I looked at her still grinning. “You think its cute when Zack does it. Where do you think he got it from.” Zack if famous for people giving him stuff.

Debbie smiled a little but still seemed unwilling to let it go.

“We got it baby. We got one of the best spots in the park!”

Debbie cheered up and thanks to a level pad and a drive through camp site our setup was the easiest yet. No backing up and pulling forward four times to get the trailer centered. Just drive up and put the truck in park.

The campsite was beautiful. It was across from our last Inks Lake site. It has a huge drive, 5 large trees, a grill and a fire pit. The lake was just across the street.

As I unhooked the trailer Zack requested his bike. I took it out and he took off with Debbie yelling out the boundaries as he rounded the first corner. He drove back and then down a trail. When he rode back up he had a friend with him. It takes Zack about 5 minutes to find a friend anywhere we go.

Other notable events on day 1 involved the renting of a canoe. I'll have more on that in my next post.

'Til then,
Cheers.

Camping for Geeks

My wife loves to camp. She loves tents and cook stoves, sleeping bags and camp fires. Myself: not so much.

Zack takes after my wife in loving the outdoors. Given his preference he'd spend most of his time outside with the dogs. My preference is to spend time in front of the TV or the computer. Yes Virginia, I'm a couch potato.

Recently I received some bad news. I'm in the beginning stages of hypertension which is also known as high blood pressure. This means changes to diet and activity levels. Given my desire for a sedentary lifestyle in familiar surroundings it seemed logical the best way to break out of the rut would be to get me out of the familiar surroundings into something a bit more privative without the luxuries of home. But I really don't like camping.

But there are things I enjoy that are camping like. I love sunsets and lakes, I like people watching and I enjoy setting by campfires. I felt there might be a compromise, a camping trailer!

So, off to Craig's list we went to find a nice used RV trailer that would pull comfortably behind our truck. What we found was a Jayco 29 footer that we three years old. In my opinion, the best deals are to be found in an economic downturn. Folks are tightening up and looking to get rid of luxury items.

The couple selling the trailer had kept it up well. The inside was immaculate. The outside was in good shape as well showing only a little wear during its three years of existence.

The camper has a queen size bed up front, a nicely appointed kitchen with a three burner range and oven, microwave oven, refrigerator with freezer, two cable TV connections, a full on bottom single on top bunk bed, a bathtub with shower and vanity sink and, best of all, a toilet. The couch and dining table also make into a bed. All told it could sleep 8 in relative comfort. The side also slide out so when you have the trailer set up the thing is fairly spacious.

So we purchased the trailing with a quick loan from our local credit union. Credit is still easy to come by if you have a good credit score. The process, in my opinion, is almost too easy.

So, deeper in debt but with a happy family we look for a good first location in order to loose our camper virginity. We had several folks recommend Inks Lake and so off to Burnett Texas we went. For anyone interested in Texas State parks, I recommend checking out the Park Finder. There really are parks a short distance from just about anyone in Texas.

Inks lake is very nice. It is one of Texas' a constant level lake kept that way by siphoning off water from lakes further up river. I wonder which politically savvy resident managed to pull that one off.

The facilities were clean and well kept. The park store had lots of goodies and allowed you to rent canoes and paddle boats. The trails were fun and the sunsets were just this side of heaven. This was my first camping experience and it was great.

Zack enjoyed it as well. Below is a picture of Zack blissfully fishing.

Galowwy LIVES!!!

I am happy to report that all is well in the fish tank. All five fish somehow survived the initial three week period of the tank cycle. Galowwy now swims regularly around the tank with the others so all seems well. I also discovered the Galowwy is a Mickey Platy as well. It was hard to spot the mouse markings among the darkly colored scales but its there, sure enough.

My wife took a water sample into the pet store to determine if we could add more, less fragile fish than the indestructible platies. The fish guy stated that our water was too acidic. This is an odd fact since we have well water and that water is known for being too alkaline.

The pet store guy indicated that our addition of shells and the castle might be the cause. NOT THE CASTLE!! That is the single coolest feature ever to grace the inside of any fish tank.

We decided to remove the shells and await the next test. Time will tell whether we are ever ready for fragile fish. Then again, maybe we should just stick with platies.

Update:
Well, it turned out what we had here was a failure to communicate. The fish guy stated our PH is too high which indicates our water is too alkaline not too acidic. Now this makes sense since our water is surrounded by limestone down in the well. I also determined that our castles, is indeed, plaster which add to the alkalinity.

So now our choices are to remove the castle (never!) and remove about a quarter of the water and replace it with bottled water or we can buy fish that actually like a high PH. Unfortunately these fish also eat platies and that's a life lesson I'm not quite ready to teach my four year old.

Genuine Plastic Plants

In hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, the advertisement for robots was something like "your plastic pal who's fun to be with." Marvin, the paranoid android was anything but fun but did make the series much more interesting.

I think the same can be said for aquarium plastic plants. They don't do much but they do make the tank more interesting. As a bonus, the fish seem to like them.

I became concerned about our fifth fish. He's the one that's darkly colored and spends most of his time under the castle. His name has ranged from Rebel, to Gollum, to Goblin, to Glowy to Galowy. Some of the information I read on the internet stated that platies can be shy when first introduced to a new tank and some hide for a while.

I decided the fish may need a bit more cover to come out from under the castle so Deb, Zack and I headed to the local pet store to buy some genuine plastic plants (GPP). My first tendency was to get real plants but the store owner guided us away from this decision. His concern was that plants make new tanks more complicated and can lead to algae problems.

While at the pet store, I described Galowy's plight of alway hiding in the castle. The owner seemed to thing the fish was suffering from the toxicity of the water. The term is called tank cycling and its the time that the bacteria form that convert fish waste into whatever they convert fish waste into.

Before the colony forms, ammonia and nitrates build up in the tank. The first set of sacrificial fish's job is to bring the bacteria with them so the water can support other, less fragile fish. So the owner said Galowy might be suffering from nitrate build up in the fish's blood stream. I came away from that conversation feeling guilty for naming the seed fish but not guilty enough to forgo the purchase of some GPPs.

We picked the plants that looked like they would fit in the tank. We bought two long and one short of different colors to give the tank a little variety. Zack was ecstatic to have the chance to add some new stuff to the tank and have the opportunity to actually put his hand in the water.

We added the plants and a few more shells to decorate. Zack giggled as he plopped two more shells in the water and watch them float to the bottom. I had to move the castle in order to situate the plants. Galowy swam out and joined the other fist for a while. It was nice to see it again. Galowy seemed to enjoy the additional hiding places as well.

Tangerine, the reddish orange fish, took to the new plants quickly, first tasting them and then swimming in and out readying his escape route from the tyrannical Mickeys. Tangerine is the explorer of the five always swimming new ways through the maze that's become our tank.

Sunrise, the pretty orange, yellow and black fish swims the perimeter trying to stay out of the Mickeys way and, by and large, does a good job of it.

As for the Mickeys, they tasted and re-tasted the GPPs hoping, somehow, they would suddenly become edible.

Galowy has since gone under the castle again. I think we'll move the structure once we feed again so that fish actually has a chance to eat.

Fish Tank, Day 2

As reported yesterday, we now have fish in our fish tank. Four of the fish seem to be doing fine the fifth, however, is hiding under the Castle and refuses to come out. The fish's original name was Rebel since it refused to swim with the other fish. I've since renamed it to Gollum because it to hides from the light in a cave. I still count it as the odds on favorite to go belly up first.

Meanwhile, Mickey and Minnie, the two Micky Mouse Platies, have become a bonded pair of sorts. Mickey never leaves Minnie's side unless he's going to to harass either Sunrise or Tangerine. These two rule the tank and the other fish get out of their way.

Sunrise is my favorite having colors going from black to orange to yellow. Its a very pretty fish. Tangerine is Zack's favorite so far. This bright orange fish was once Mickey's favorite target but the bully mouse fish seems to pick on Sunrise more these days.

UPDATE:
As of noon today Gollum was out of the cave and swimming around the tank. I've read a bit online that Platies may be shy at first. Its either that of the fish is preggers and off getting ready to give birth.

FURTHER UPDATE:
Gollum has received a new name from Zack. Gollum's new tank name is Glowee. I'm not sure if Glowee is the proper name for a darkly colored fish but I'm sure there is some brilliant four year old logic to it.

Zack stormed into the house and I told him there was a surprise in the tank. He had yet to see Glowee/Gollum. The little man jumped up and down yelling "He's out, He's out." He then named the fish.

Note: Glowee is still the odds on favorite to go belly up first.

Fish Tank, The Beginning

As time goes by, kids develop along certain predestined paths. We are now fully in the pet phase of Zack existence. This is the time when there is no animal, no matter how gross, that Zack would not enjoy having for a pet.

That being said, he's always wanted a fish tank ever since seeing Finding Nemo. Well, Deb and I finally broke down and bought twenty-nine gallon fish tank. But its not just a clear, water-filled, piece of furniture with pretty fish in it. Its a money disposal unit as well. Just put money in and watch it vanish.

Because you can't just have a tank sitting on a table. Oh no. You need a stand, a filter, a heater and special little rocks that go at the bottom. I wonder how fish in the wild survive without special little rocks but I'm assured by the pet store people that special little rocks are important to fish survival.

Now, I'm a fantasy nut so when it came time to decorate there would be no pirate ship, palm trees and treasure chest in my tank. Oh no. I had to have a castle and, being me, I had to have a big one. I still haven't added up how much the fish tank and its accessories cost, but I'm thinking its close to $500.

I'm sensitive to sum since the new computer monitor I want costs half that amount. I could even have an aquarium screen saver with real water filter noises coming out of my computer speakers as well. I'd never have to worry about belly up fish unless I programed it to have belly up fish. But I digress.

The steps to setting up a fish tank include buying it, the filter, the heater, the special little rocks, the castle, and the stand. You set this up in a nice location (which you'll want to change but only after you have 100 lbs of water in the tank), turn the filter on, and wait for two days.


















I'm not really sure about the two days thing but I'm told by the same guy that says I need special little rocks that the water needs to filter for a while before I add any fish to it. I wonder how long water in the lake has to sit before the fish can swim in it.

So I waited for two days and added my first five fish (just a few minutes ago). You start with cheap fish that you won't cry over when they go belly up (whether programmed or not). The kind I purchased are called Platies. I have two Micky Mouse Platies, one gold and yellow Platy, one gold/orange Platy and one Blue/Gray Platy. I'm sure Zack will name them appropriately but there working names are Micky, Minnie, Sunrise, Tangerine, and Rebel.

These 'seed' fish are hardy and serve a very important purpose. Each fish carries with them a set of bacteria that help break down fish waste. Since these little guys are tough, they can survive in a new tank long enough for the bacteria colony to take up residence in the special little rocks. Once the colony is established, less hardy yet prettier fish can be added to a balanced ecosystem.

The whole process takes about three weeks. After that you take a water sample in and they test the ammonia levels and let you know if other wimp fish can live in your tank.

I'd also like to add a few live plants to the tank but the pet store folks tell me its better to get the tank established first before adding them. They promote algae growth and so you need to know what you're doing before adding them.

I feel a little sorry for the starter fish. They have a tough job and an uncertain future. They are the tank trail blazers giving their all for the others that follow.

I'll keep you updated on who goes belly up first (my money's on Rebel).

Learning To Fly

Well, we're off on another Zack sports event: Gymnastics!

Now, to start off, be it known that my son is not the most naturally gifted athlete. True, he can run further and faster that most kids his age and he somehow manages to hit a softball I throw him with his over sized bat. I tell him to use the smaller T-ball bat but he likes the cool red bat with the flame job. His choice of form over function disturbs me. I chalk it up to his two teenage half-sisters who's life revolves around image. But I digress.

Zack likes to go things alone. He doesn't like team sports. Its too much of everyone doing the same thing at the same time. BORING! Zack deplores that for some reason.

At play, Zack goes from place to place in the yard. He enjoys driving his Jeep, riding his bike or trike, throwing and batting balls, feeding the neighbor's horses, or just running around with our dog Milo. Since there are no other kids around he either plays by himself, Milo or my wife and I. Of course, finding frogs and insects is high on his list of enjoyments as well but the thing he loves best is to fly.



Teamwork is a foreign concept to Zack. His soccer experience was a poor one. He didn't like going out on the field. I think it was due to his fear of failure. We encourage, bribed, threatened and pleaded but Zack refused to take to the field during a game.

Gymnastics seemed a better choice for Zack. Its an individual sort of sport that makes use of his drive and energy. Initial signs were encouraging as his first trip to class was met with enthusiasm and, more importantly, participation.

I was out of town his first class. When my wife called and told me Zack had fun at class I almost yelled for joy. Finally we found something Zack liked to do with others. I wanted to see this for myself and went with my wife to see Zack jumping around and hanging from bars.



Zack did go to class and started to play with others. He has problems with staying in line, however. He doesn't stand in many lines and so the concept is foreign to him. Why would you stand in line when there is a perfectly good trampoline with no one on it.

After that class, where the coaches had to wrangle Zack into line, everything changed. He no longer wanted to go to class. He refused to do more than step inside the door. I admit, I was ready to admit defeat and chalk it up to another soccer experience.

Three times we tried and three times we failed to get Zack into class. On the last go around, I had to work and so Debbie took Zack by herself. He refused to go in and so she brought him home. He cried all the way saying he wanted to go back but there seemed no point if he would not participate or even go into the gym. The all-to-familiar soccer feeling set in and I assured myself this would be another bust.

So, we were going to give gymnastics one last shot. This time I was up to bat trying to entice Zack into class. Zack was conflicted about going. First he said he wanted to go then, in the next sentence, said he didn't want to go. Zack was one stressed four year old.

I decided to try. Debbie insisted. To be honest I would have been happy enough to go home but I sucked it up, bought Zack some cheese sticks at Sonic ( that always seems to help ) and drove him to the YMCA.

It started the same; Zack refused to go in. I asked him why. He said the teachers 'looked mean to him'. I looked at the coach. Andrew didn't look that mean to me but I did notice he scowled from time to time.

I told this to Zack. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, "No, he looked me AT me." A thunderbolt of understanding struck. Obviously during Zack's previous line jumping the coach gave him a stern look.

The solution, it seemed, was to get Zack past the 'mean coach' thought process. The male coach had an assistant who was near the door so I motioned her over. "Look Zack, she doesn't look mean to me."

The young Y staffer took the cue and put on a big smile and invited Zack over to his group. Zack didn't want to go so I held his hand as we walked over. The male coach gave Zack a big high-5 as he joined the group and that, it seems, is all it took.

Zack participated for the rest of the class. Yes he still left the line to wander around but this time the coaches were better prepared and asked him to rejoin. I became involved once when Zack said he was ready to leave. I offered one small bribe of visiting the Y pumpkin patch. Other than that, it all went OK.

In the war that is child rearing, this was a victory... and I have photographic evidence.

Top 10 Things I Leared About Taking a 4 Year Old to France

Most people just looked at me like I had a frog growing out of my head when I told them I was taking my son to France. After all, he's a rambunctious four year old and neither my wife nor I speak French. I have to admit, it was trying at times. Now that we are back I realize we have memories we'll keep forever. Some memories are fond ones. Others are memories we laugh at now. Of course some of the laughs are still a little manic but I'm sure this will pass in time.

But there were lessons learned from taking Zack. I've listed ten of them here in hopes others might be better prepared than I when taking a preschooler overseas.

1. A jet lagged 4 year old is no fun. You may logically realize you need to get on a sleep schedule fitting the current time zone but a four year old is ill-equipped to grasp this and will keep you up all hours wanting to play.
   
2. Paris, in one word, sucks. The people are in a hurry and therefor a bit rude. The drivers are insane. There are nice people there and thanks to all those that helped the lost Texans.
   
3. With a 4 year old, Paris sucks more.
4. Be prepared to eat lots of French food; mostly French Fries since McDonalds are everywhere and look just like their American counterparts.
5. The high speed train (TGV) is wonderful and much better than flying. With a child in tow, it gets even better since they have a lot of cars they can explore.
   
6. French food (once you get past McDonalds) is very good.
7. French wine is very good and available at a low price.
   
8. French is not an easy language to learn, and much like the dialect of the southern United States, drops the last few pronounced letters.
9. If you try to teach a child to say C'est Bon (translated "This is good") in French, he just says "Bon"
10. Once a 4 year old gets over his jet lag he has one good day then wants to come home.

Top things my wife learned about dealing with a four year old in France

1. 4 year olds love trains, trams, buses and water and you will spend much time on and in these
2. 4 year olds do not like to shop for food, clothes or anything other than trains, buses, planes…….
3. When a mom with child has a breakdown in the airport because they have missed their flight back to the states and has no way to contact her husband, the French airport staff are very accommodating and pleasant and they buy you food.
4. 4 year olds do not like to hurry, even when there is only 15 seconds to get on and off the trams
5. 4 year olds love to embarrass you (I have one memory of him sticking his bare feet in the face of passenger sitting next to him on the plane)
6. French bread is not fattening, of course it may be the 4 miles you have to walk to purchase the bread that causes that illusion
7. I do not think that feeding bread to the ducks is an acceptable thing to do in France
8. There is no grass around the sidewalks
9. There is dog poo around every tree along the sidewalks
10. Motorcycles drive fast on the sidewalks
11. The French love blond children, therefore reinforcing the “I am the center of attention” mentality

Of special note is the fact that Zack watched King Kong in French from the hotel room after being a complete snot when Debbie was trying to shop for shoes. Eventually Debbie gave up and returned to the hotel angry that her shopping plans fell through.

There is one scene where King Kong is sliding on the ice playfully with the heroine. Zack said, "Ah, he loves her. He wants to buy her shoes." Those of you without kids won't realize how truly funny that is.

Go Tigers

Go Tigers!!!!

I'm forced to say that now for the mighty Tiger is the mascot/name of my son's very first soccer team. Zack has turned four, you see, so it is time for him to give up his childish ways and turn to sports.

Sports. Just say the word a few times. It rings with power. It rings with determination. It rings with parents living vicariously through their children. Sports; civilization's alternative to war.

We signed my son up at the local YMCA to play soccer. "He's too young," you might say. But I say that you are never too young for a photo op that makes your parents smile. And smile we did as Zack took to the field for the very first soccer practice complete with team jersey, his own bright red and black ball, and over sized socks that covered his little shin guards. Man, was he cute.

Deb and I beamed as Zack excitedly took to the field. Of course, he was the cutest kid out there. After all, he's OUR son. He was equally cute when he asked that Deb stay with him during practice. Man, was that cute. He was even cuter when the couch asked the kids to kick the ball to the line then kick it back. He was the cutest ever when he kept kicking the ball into the next field, then down the embankment, then over to another field full of children. The cuteness wore off when he kicked the ball into the road and ran after it with Deb and I chasing after our adorable son yelling.

After that, embarrassment set it. Zack really isn't into the whole team thing. You see, in his mind there is an 'I' in team. The 'I' stands for 'I want to kick the cool ball over here'. Zack spent the remainder of practice kicking the ball here and there. He even kicked the ball where the couch told him to... once. He kicked the ball into the net then shoved his face into the net thinking it felt cool to have his mouth out one hole and each eye through another.

All the other kids stayed in line and did as told. All the other kids gathered in a huddle and talked about how much fun they were going to have this season. Zack ran here and there kicking is bright red and black ball where the ball led. In his defense, he kicked it a lot straighter than the kids who listened. I'm holding on to that. I have to for there is little else.

In his defense, Zack is only one of two children that have never played before. The other, a girl who is a year older, couldn't kick the ball well at all. As I said, I have to hold onto something.

A lady who sat next to Deb and I (she talked to one of us as the other was playing Zack goalie) asked if Zack was an only child. In a way he is. He has two older half-sisters that are 11+ years his senior. So it turns out he has three moms and is the only child of his dad. With all this he is, as expected, rotten as heck.

For Zack believes he is the center of the universe. I don't see this as a good thing or bad thing. It simply is the way it is. At the very least, he knows he is loved and that's more than I can say for a lot of kids... but I digress.

Zack, as the lady said, acts like most only children. He does what he thinks is fun. Following a group is not his normal mode of operation. He leads. If others follow that's OK. If they don't, well, that's OK as well. He'll have fun whether they're there or not.

After the practice, Deb and I were tired. Zack thought soccer was the coolest thing ever. Not better than Christmas or a birthday but pretty darn cool none the less. He was excited about hitting the field again. Maybe next time we can actually keep him on the field.

I understand they don't keep score at this age. All they try to do is teach the children how to kick the ball and hope beyond hope that they manage to get it in the correct goal. They don't enforce the rules either. At first I wondered about this. Then as I saw Zack kick the ball through a neighboring group of kids I understood. Its not about the score its all about the game and the fun of playing the game.

Zack has one more practice before his first game. I can't wait to see that first game. Regardless of the outcome it will be cute. After all, this is Zack we're talking about. And I'm holding on to the fact that he will, at least, kick the ball straight.

Childhood Memories (old and new)

I don't pretend to be a child development expert. I simply observe the goings on in my son's life and try to report them here so others might remember their children and smile or look forward to having their own kids someday. One of the most important things to look forward to in life is seeing your kids excited and happy about some big event.

The type of event isn't all that important but what is important is to remember when you were a child. Remember what it was like to go to a 4th of July parade? What about your first trip to the local lake each year? Remember what it was like, on a hot summer day, to pull a Popsicle out of the freezer and suck on it until you had brain freeze? Luckily when you have children those memories we would otherwise loose come back as we watch our children live through those life events.

At age three, Zack began to understand that Christmas was a big deal and that birthdays were nice. By age four he realized the titanic magnitude of these days. It was incredible seeing Zack look forward to Christmas this year; to see the anticipation of Christmas morning rise to almost unbearable levels.

But as good as Christmas was, Zack's 4th birthday was even better. After Christmas was over Zack asked if we could have Christmas again. I explained that it only came once a year. Although saddened by the fact, Zack accepted it the way one does April 15th. Then he heard the really good news, his birthday would come soon.

At first, this didn't seem to help him with the Christmas blues but as time progressed and his birthday got closer, the excitement began to build all over again. Then something amazing happened; Zack realized this was going to be HIS day. No one else would get presents, no one else would have their name on a cake, and best of all, no one get to blow out candles.

As a quick side note, the daycare in which Zack is enrolled has five children. Two other children there have birthdays within a week of Zack. We went to those parties last year but didn't invite any non-family members to Zack's previous parties. The theory was he was too young to know the difference. I think we might have been wrong.

When his friends arrive he was as excited as any four year old I've ever seen. The thrill of having his friends over, riding his motorized Jeep in the his yard, and playing in his room made for one happy Zachary.

But even that level of happiness was trumped when it came time for cake. Not just any cake, mind you, but Zachary's birthday cake with Zachary's candles. Candles which would be blown out by Zachary after THE SONG.

As everyone began to sing THE SONG, Zack began to tremble with excitement. He was literally shaking. It was finally here! His birthday with his song and, best of all, his candles to blow out. Somehow he avoided the stroke or heart attack that would befall any adult exhibiting such shear joy and excitement.

The present opening was almost anticlimactic. He received lots of cars. He's known as a speed freak and so most of his friends brought things that rolled. He also received a few other toys, some clothes from grandmothers, and a bicycle from Deb and I. But is wasn't the material objects he loved the most. His greatest joy came from having his friends over and having his birthday song sung to him.

The cars and other toys will break, or wear out, or become lost, the clothes will become too small but the memories of this day will linger. Oh, Zack may be too young to remember his fourth birthday party but I'll remember Zack's fourth birthday forever.

For you see, children are God's gift to memories. Seeing Zack live through these important events lets me remember what it was like when I went through them. And if not for Zack, I wouldn't remember them at all.

In the beginning

Looking over my blog I noticed that the majority of my posts are about my son, Zack so I'm changing the name of the blog.

In this post I'll discuss the first time someone called me Zack's dad and why it brought tears to my eyes.

I'm married to a beautiful woman named Debbie. We met at work. She had two daughters from a previous marriage and so we decided, going in, not to have any additional children. We were too old, we thought, and there were enough folks in the world.

Note that this isn't the first time we've changed our mind on important subjects. When we began dating we both stated we weren't looking for a relationship and were happy being single. Within a month I knew she was the lady I wanted to marry and I think she'd decided I'd be a good husband as well. We were married nine months later.

Things were going along well when the world changed. 9/11, for some reason, made us decide it was a good idea to bring another person into the world. I know there was a minor population boom in the USA after the event. I don't know if more people is society's way of handling stress or if its something more basic in human nature that causes us to have children when angry or unsure. But whatever the reason, Zack was born in February of 2003.

His mom was in her late thirties at the time so carrying a large baby boy (9.8 lbs at birth) was an ordeal. She had the flu. She threw up a lot at the end. This caused Zack to get distressed which caused problems. She entered the hospital dehydrated and sick. This caused Zack to breath in meconium in the amniotic fluid while still in his mom's tummy. Meconium is poop. Breathing it in causes bad things to happen inside a baby's lungs.

To make a long story short, after one joy filled day with my son, he entered ICU as fever struck from pneumonia. I went from the happiest person on the planet to the saddest. The doctors assured me everything would be fine but that did nothing to comfort me.




After Zack entered ICU I was allowed to visit. There as a nurse at the front desk who asked who I was. She said, "Oh, you belong to the hairy baby." Remember that most babies in ICU are premature. Zack went full term. In fact he went a little beyond full term. He liked it in there.

She called to the nurse in the back. "Zack's Dad is here." It was four simple words On the face of them they were nothing special but it was like a lightening bolt hit me in the chest. It was my first time being called "Zack's Dad." I don't know why the impact was so great but a big smile came to my face as tears of joy rolled down my face. The nurse asked, "Are you ok?" I said "Yes, I think I am." I was Zack's dad and, God willing, I always would be.

I pulled out of my funk just in time for Debbie to enter her's. Odd how things work out that way. There are few things sadder than a mother leaving her new born in the hospital. Debbie stayed at her mother's, which was near the hospital, while I went back to an empty house. It wasn't a pleasant week.

Of course, as the doctors predicted, Zack was fine and the pain of leaving him in the hospital soon vanished. I have many titles: Architect, Husband, Son, and Brother but the one I'm proudest of is being Zack's Dad.

Shadow Dancing

On a late summer night in '05, Zack discovered the fun of shadows.

Shadow Dance:

It began with Deb and I sitting in our white, fake wicker chair by the drive way. We have one of those security lights that illuminates when it senses motion. It a fairly powerful light, complete illuminating the drive way.

Zack was pushing his play police car around the drive way when I discovered the security light made for excellent shadows. Not the multiple shadows you normally get but one, strong black shadow usually reserved for dark rooms and flash lights.

I made the age old rabbit shadow. Zack was fascinated by the construct. He tried to grab it but the wascally wabbit was too quick. He laughed and giggled until he discovered he had a shadow as well. At this point the fascination began.

I felt like I was watching something out of Peter Pan as my son tried to catch the his own dark image which was always just a little too fast for him. After chasing the shadow down the drive way, he found that the shadow would also chase him as well. Zack ran away from the dark boy on the ground watching the shadow as he ran. He was so intent was he on the dark image that he ran head long into Jessica’s car falling to the ground the ground in a heap of giggles.

Deb and I showed Zack how to control the shadow with his own movements. He waved his arms and laughed. Then he raised his foot into the air watching the shadow detach from his form. He tried to touch the shadow but it was always just out of reach. Finally he learned to squat down. The shadow squatted as well and at last he could touch the illusive being.

Zack was having so much fun it was hard to get him in for the night. Finally I was able to coax him into my arms to look at the stars. Zack likes stars so I sang him a song as we walked back toward the house. The rhythm was to a Louis Armstrong song “What a wonderful world” but the words were my own. Zack enjoyed it and didn’t fuss at all as we walked into the house. Once inside, Deb had to call her mom to describe the evening. Zack and I played ‘Tent on the couch’ where his folding tent goes on one section of the couch and he climbs in and out. We sang twinkle, twinkle little star for a while until Deb got off the phone with her mom.

Its nights like this when everything seems right with the world. I wish there were more of them.

My Dog Pillow!

This was originally written on Monday 9/26/05

You know that your son is progressing well when everything in the house becomes MINE. In Zack’s mind, everything is his and you can not convince him otherwise. This was made more evident than usual when Deb brought home a new dog pillow.

We have an older dog that likes to lay around. I am her human so she's usually found laying around me. As I type this she lays near by waiting for me to go to bed. Now Jessica the dog loves my son. I would go so far as to say they are best friends. She doesn’t sleep with him but that is only because we keep the door closed to Zack’s room at night.

Food solidifies Zack’s place in the dogs heart. At every meal he finds some way to slip her food. For this she shows a greater than normal maternal instinct towards my son. The dog tries to rescue him from the swimming pool and barks at us as if to say WHAT ARE YOU DOING! On Zack’s forays into the pasture the dog assumes the vanguard scouting to make sure the path is clear. She trots in front checking for whatever dogs check for to make sure Zack will be OK.

Now saying this I also have to say dogs have a great sense of where they are in the pack. Deb and I are the dominant dogs in Jessica’s mind and as such our offspring must be deferred to. Jessica the dog has always treated Zack with a great deal of understanding to the point of letting Zack touch her eyeball. Yes, the dog laid there and let Zack explore her eye.

Thus we thought it extremely rude when Deb brought home the new dog pillow and Zack instantly claimed it and chased the dog away. In Jessica the dog’s mind, the matter was settled. Zack had a new bed. In Jessica the step daughter’s mind, the matter was far from over. ( Yes we have child and a dog named the same name. )

Jessica the teenager saw this as a completely unfair situation. Deb bought the pillow for Jessica the dog. Zack had no right to it. She ordered Zack off the pillow. At 2.5, Zack doesn’t order well. A fight broke out between siblings with Jessica the dog on the sidelines. Jessica the teenager would take Zack off the pillow and order the dog onto it. Jessica the dog would obey. Zack would then through a fit and order the dog off the pillow. The dog was caught in an obedience loop. You could tell she wanted to be left out of fight. Finally, the dog jumped up on the couch and laid her head down, ignoring any further commands to lay on the pillow.

The fight between Jessica the teenager and Zack raged on however. Obstinate teenager vs. the unwavering MINE! In the end I think MINE won but its hard to tell. Zack spent some time in his room. Jessica the teenager finally went to the TV room and shut to door. Jessica the dog just lay on the couch.

Time will tell if Jessica the dog will accept her new pillow or if she now thinks of it as Zack’s bed. Then again, when we come home from work Jessica the dog is often on Zack’s bed so I suppose its only fair that Jessica’s bed is now MINE!

In the end I don’t think the dog minds Zack sleeping on an item bought for her. The two lay together on the floor often. Zack throws her arm over her, leans against her belly and watches TV. She looks up, gives him one lick on the face then lays back down. Zack wipes the dog saliva off then kisses the dog. In the grand scheme of things, what’s one pillow between friends.

Rocky the Airplane

This is the story about Rocky the Airplane and Albin the Double-decker bus. It took place in January of '07.

Zack loves three things in life: Trains, planes and automobiles. Something about the speed and power of these machines fascinates him. His favorite movies are Pixar's Cars and Disney's Polar Express.

Zack, at times, thinks he is a train. He'll pump his arm like the driving pistons of a steam train and either make car or train noises (as appropriate to the situation). For planes, he doesn't pump his arms as he usually has a plane in his hand and makes high pitched jet engine noises as the plane streaks at high speed near someone's face. He does this so they can have the full effect of the plane's speed. Well, that and the ability to make people blink is pretty cool.

So, when Deb and I go out to shop the question from Zack is always, "Are we going to the train store?" The ordeal of the train store is documented in other blog posts so needless to say, we don't go there often.

On this day's trip my wife and I were looking for carpets and bar stools. We wound up with neither but on this day we went to World Market. Now World Market is an all around nice store with lots of nick-nacks and items from the world over (but mostly made in China). The have a good selection of wines, glassware (which we purchased), furniture, carpets, and ornamental stuff you put on shelves and in curios. Zack generally enjoys the store since they have ornamental trains, cars, boats, and planes to play with.

On this day, he was very good and sat in one place while Deb and I picked out some new glasses. We were so proud of him we agreed he could have one of the ornamental planes to take home. On the way to the register, he also found a double-decker bus he wanted.

Now Deb and I both agreed he could have one but not two. So at the register we tried the fruitless task of making a three year old see logic. Deb gave up and punted to me. So I asked, "If you could only have one, which would you choose?"

"I choose 2," replied Zack.

Well, in some ways a 2 is only one number so I think I lost that round. My next question was completely stupid. "If you had to choose between having both and going to college which would you choose?"

"But I want both," protested Zack.

To be honest, I was surprised he didn't give up college. I stood there scratching my head wondering how a three year old got the better of me in the argument. The people around us were all smiling. So next on the better parenting through deception method of child rearing, I decided to hide one of the items at the register.

Now our clerk that day was a red-headed youth with multiple facial piercings. This isn't someone you'd normally consider a nice guy. He had a dour expression on his face that showed no joy or love for the world so what he did next was a surprise.

As he rang up the airplane he applied a 40% discount. Debbie asked, "Are those on sale."

The clerk just looked down at Zack then up and Deb. His expression didn't change. He never smiled but he said "They are today."

He rang up the bus with a 40% discount as well.

I'm still not sure why he did it. Did he think Zack was cute? Did he overhear the conversation and decided to reward us for getting our son something special? Or was he just 'sticking it to the man' a.k.a. his boss.

I'm not sure but I think he thought the entire conversation with Zack was interesting enough to warrant a discount. Whatever his reasons were, I'm glad he did it. Zack played with the things for days. They went into the bath with him. He's named them Rocky the Plane and Albin the bus.

Rock and Albin sitting on my desk as I write this. Happy to have a home with a little boy that loves them.

Happiness is a Train Ride

I remember when I was young, the joy of going to Old City Park. I think the park has another name, maybe Graham park, but to us it was always Old City Park. The reason, you may ask, is because we had a new city park called The New Park. This may lack in imagination but everyone knew the difference.

Allow me a brief aside to describe the parks. Wright Park was the New Park. It had tennis courts, a golf course and butted up next to one of the nicer neighborhoods in Greenville. Old City Park was, well, old. It was in a failing part of Greenville but for a child, it had much more to offer.

Old City Park had a lake with ducks, a bear, the oldest house in Greenville, and a motorized boat and car ride the usually worked. But the thing that set Old City Park off from any other park was the train. We’re not talking a full sized train though. It was simply a gasoline engine that was mounted onto a miniature train frame. The track ran around one of the playgrounds and as you rode it you couldn’t help but laugh and wave at all the people on the slides, monkey bars, and merry-go-rounds (not the motorized kind, you had to push).

For a kid, it was possibly the neatest place in Greenville.

The lake had a small island in the middle. We would dare each other to swim to it. In the end we were all too chicken to try. Some of those ducks looked mean and rumor had it there were snakes in the water.

The oldest house in Greenville had all sorts of antiques inside but we never got to go inside. It was always locked. We had to placate ourselves by looking in the window and making up stories about the ghosts that lived inside.

The playground contained all sorts of equipment that would send a modern OSHA inspector screaming into the night. It’s amazing how many things are dangerous these days. When I was growing up, it was called fun. Today they’re called law suites waiting to happen.

The boat ride was some boats sitting in a tub of water attached to arms that went round and round. As I recall the best thing about them was a bell on each boat you could ring. All four passengers had a steering wheel.

The car ride was much the same except, of course you were in a car not a boat. We all still had stirring wheels but it lacked the cool bell on the boats. Eventually both these rides went away but the trained remained for years afterward.

It was a special occasion to go to Gram Park. The bear was cool. The ducks were fun. The hokey car and boat rides were good for one ride. But the train was the best part. Something about it just made you smile.

I remember when they took the train out. It was sad. Still, as we get older, those sorts of things don’t matter like they used to.

Free Spirits and Scream Tests

As I watch Zack discover the world and put things together, it amazes me the progress a child makes. I don’t know if my son is different from others. I do know he exhibits an amazing imagination for a three year old. Of course, having a father that routinely goes into a fantasy world to write and game must help.

Thomas the Tank Engine is a favorite world of his engine shunt troublesome trucks and get into all sorts of trouble. Luckily their friends are always there to help.

A second world he loves is that of sharks, dolphins, whales and sea turtles. We have a pool and he has a set of these creatures that migrate between the pool and the bath tub. Indeed, there are some nights with bath protests turn into shouts of joy with the introduction of a shark to the tub.

He and I explore the house looking for flying sharks, dinosaurs, or even the mundane black frogs with yellow eyes. We also chase non-imaginary butterflies, play with caterpillars, and talk to Buddy the Lizard.

Buddy deserves special note. He is a gecko that lives in an old banana plant husk by the pool. The only remarkable thing about Buddy is that he is always in the banana plant. Zack talks to him. Asks how he is doing and then screams at him trying to get him to move.

Zack explores the world in bursts of speed followed by motionless but intense scrutiny. He experiments with animals seeing how the react to various stimuli. Normally this starts with a finger, followed by gentle tones of reassurance. He play with the worm, insect, frog, cat, dog, or other subject showing the animal to Debbie and I. Eventually, however, it always winds up with the scream test.

Sometimes I worry about Zack. :-)